i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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