I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back