Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I want to be your penis for a week.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand