I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"