You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!