My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.