Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
