Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
