i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
