3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
