It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
