my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
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I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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