i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
