I think I just saw someone hide a body.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
