The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
