ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
