I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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