I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
