i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
