And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
