I will die if light touches me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
