I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
