You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
