Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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