College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
