Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
