i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
