First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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