I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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