highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
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We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
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I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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