Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
