All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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