I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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