Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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