It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
