Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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