glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
