so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
