Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
