ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
even my farts smell like vagina
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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