69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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