Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
