Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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