it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
