i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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