Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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