i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i think i have herpe
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know