I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
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There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
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Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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