There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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