What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
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Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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