Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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