Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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