I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
