her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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