I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
