why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize