there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
