I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
