Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I wear drunk well.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
