Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
