They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
