glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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