so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
